Are You Satisfiable?
You long for something for what feels like forever ... think about how it’ll feel when you get it, what life will be like, what you will be like. But then you get it, and instead of feeling the sense of satisfaction you thought you would, instead, you find yourself looking for the next thing. Could be big — like a life goal or a relationship — or small — like a good meal, or a bodywork treatment — but the feeling’s the same.
“Is this really ... it?”
We’re all so trained to look for the next thing. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting things, or looking forward to them. But when that starts to get twisted into a constant, if subtle, search for the answer, or the right thing, or the right path, then you may want to look at what’s going on with that.
What if feeling good in your life isn’t about finding the right path, person, or answer, but rather, finding satisfaction in the path you’re on?
To be clear, this isn’t about putting up with things, or settling for things that don’t feel good. And it’s certainly not about cultivating some magical neutral attachment to life so you don’t feel desire or disappointment. It’s just about questioning the little story that says the next job, the next relationship, the next lifestyle change, that’ll be the one that fixes me!
Ultimately, it’s about attachment with yourself.
Because culture of insatiability and consumption aside, many of us never learned to be satisfied because we didn’t get the care we needed when we were still figuring out how to exist in the world. That can feel so tender, and bring up so much grief, especially if you realize you weren’t cared for before ... or maybe you don’t really know what care is. If that’s where you’re at, it’s OK. Breathe. Feel your feet. Feel your seat. Have a stretch.
And know that you can be the person who comes in and picks up that crying baby inside, and gives them what they need. Holding. Seeing. Love. Care. Satisfaction.
Try This:
If all of this feels very tender for you, take a moment to be with that. Grieve it as you want, that’s already a kindness to yourself. It’s also enough to say to yourself, “Aw, that feels kind of sad.” Just be where you’re at.
Consider experimenting with lingering. When something is nice, can you stay in it longer? Can you feel it or experience it in more ways? Maybe if you’re used to only looking at something nice, can you listen to it as well? Can you feel it, taste it, resonate with it? If something is only kind of nice, can that be enough? Can you set aside an idealized version of success for a time?
Do less and see what happens. It’s so tempting to add more into your life in search of satisfaction. More workout programs, more classes, more information, more lifestyle changes. But what if satisfaction came from small? What if your daily practice was, say, simply feeling how your big toe feels OK, and taking satisfaction in that? How much more satisfying might the big things feel, if you’re able to tune into the little things?
And, as always, if you’d like some support as you experiment with satisfiability, I’m here for you. Find out what we could do together here.
