Why Self-Care Can Sometimes Feel Hollow
Have you ever been in a situation where your body’s craving a nutrient and you can’t quite figure out what it is? You try everything, hoping something hits the spot, but somehow that hunger persists. It almost feels like a hollowness — and it’s not until you finally figure out what you were short on that your body relaxes and you finally feel full.
It’s not a perfect analogy, but the same kind of feeling can sometimes happen with personal growth and self-care. You’re doing all the things. You’re getting some support. Everything should feel, if not good, at least solid. But something’s missing.
Here’s my guess: if there’s a hollowness in your self-care, self-growth, or simply being, it might be because you’ve forgotten to attend to the spiritual part of you.
We’re inherently spiritual beings as humans, which means that any kind of personal growth or self-care or any of those kinds of things has to attend to that part of you. Otherwise it’s simply incomplete, because we are following someone else’s bullet list of nice things to do. It’s probably a very nice list, but the to-do’s need to feel like they land for you. Knowing what to act on and sensing when it lands squarely has to do with this connection to knowing, Spirit, however that connection looks for you.
Now, this isn’t to say that it’s somehow “better” to be constantly highly focused on the spiritual side of you. That can become another thing on the to-do list.
I think we naturally forget to remember this part of ourselves, and that the coming back is part of the process. There’s no grade, or possibility of perfection, or thing you need to push for. Just a deep knowing, soft wisdom, and ineffable connection, even if we sometimes stray from it. The connection is always there. Spirit is always moving in our lives and there when we turn to it.
We simply live, and remember, and forget, and remember again, and even if you don’t feel like you’re “doing the thing,” believe me, you’re still doing the thing just by being.
Try this:
Think about a time when you’ve sensed the spiritual side of you — your connection to the Universe, or Spirit, or your greater self. Can you remember a time when something happened and it almost didn’t feel like you had a hand in it? What did that feel like in your body?
If you find yourself clenching as you turn towards the spiritual side of things, go easy. It’s not about directing or discipline, it’s being curious about what might feel good, and finding the unique resonance of how you go about this. It feels like remembering, not like trying. What might feel easy here?
If you’re thinking, “This sounds great Christi but I don’t know what you’re talking about!!” that’s OK too. Sometimes you have to try things on before you know what’s right for you. I’d invite you to experiment with what could feel good with your spirit. What do you find yourself doing without even thinking about it? Maybe you reflexively say a little prayer of gratitude, or you find yourself feeling connected when you sing. Whatever it is, hold it lightly. You’ll get where you need to go.
As always, if you have a feeling that some support would be nice as you navigate these waters, I’m here for you. Find out more about how we could work together here.
