A Reminder for Times of Stagnation
Stagnation doesn't feel good. It doesn't even sound good coming out of your mouth – the hard "ag" sound, followed by the mushy "shush" of the second half. Nobody wants to be in stagnation, of course. Rest sounds so much better. An intentional pause, vs having stumbled into some sticky mess you can't get out of. And of course it's the last thing anybody wants to admit to feeling this time of year, with all its back to school, changing-of-the-seasons energy.
But what if … stagnation was OK, too?
In fact, what if stagnating was just as active a process as any intentional change and growth you might be undertaking?
The truth is, we're always growing, and always changing, even if it feels like we're stuck in a gluey, swampy mess. You're always unfolding, and always taking your best shot, like we talked about recently. It might not look the way you planned, and it almost certainly won't be pleasant. But we can't know whether it's "good" or not in the bigger picture unfolding until we get a little ways further down the road. Could be that we glance back and see that what looked like stagnation was protection or preparation.
I want to be clear: I'm not trying to make this into some sort of spiritual bypassing, "just trust the process" thing.
Stagnation is painful, and feels horrible, and that might be all there is to it. It might be that that's just where you're at right now, and that's the end of the story. Or, something else might come of it. And, knowing that, you can approach stagnation in two ways: struggle, or surrender.
Most people respond to stagnation with struggle. (Because of course we do!)
You make plans, you go about your life, and suddenly you find yourself thrashing in the middle of something you never wanted that seems like a giant waste of time. And so you keep on struggling against it, trying to be somewhere else, trying to get out of it by sheer force of will. You might not get out that way, or maybe you will. But maybe that's the only thing that feels comfortable, doable, right now. If so, that’s your best shot, go for it.
Or, you can surrender.
What if you just … didn't? What if you let go, and no longer had to control what happened during your stagnation. What if you could release your striving, and rest, even in the midst of all this? How does that feel in your body, even considering that possibility?
As with all things, it's OK either way, as is a combination of the two. You do what you do until you decide to do something else. But my invitation is to trust,
Trust in yourself. Trust in the moment. Trust in the bigger unfolding at play. We simply can't know it all.
So if you find yourself stagnating, try this:
If you can, pause for a moment and simply observe what you're doing. Are you struggling? Are you numb? Have you surrendered? What's going on?
Ask yourself what might happen if you didn't have to perform or perfect your way through stagnation. What if you could simply trust yourself, and know that whatever action you're taking, it's the one you need to take right now?
Explore the possibility of surrender. You don't have to. It might not be right for you. But what might it feel like, sound like, look like, if you were to simply release control and rest, even for a little bit?
Sometimes crises are easier, because at least there's something to do in the midst of those. But stagnation can be equally transformative, and, in its own way, harder. If you feel like you're not quite sure which way is up, and would like some support, I'd love to be there for you.
Find out what that might look like here.
