OK, I’ve Made Space. Now What?
Last month I was thinking a lot about how pretty much everyone needs so much more rest than we realize. But the answer isn’t as simple as, “Just rest more,” especially if you’re so attuned to chaos that rest feels stressful. I talked about how it can feel a bit like moving to a new house that’s much bigger than what you’re used to — even if you wanted more room, it can feel weird, even uncomfortable, when you get it. And you might find yourself habitually filling the space again. That’s OK. And, if you want something different, I gave some tips for things you might try.
But what about when you’ve made the space and built some capacity for sitting in it? What then?
The flip answer is, whatever you want. While there’s some truth in that, what I think is really interesting about those times is that they’re an invitation to see what you might do if you’re just left to be.
What is your natural inclination, if you’re not having to constantly hustle, or be productive, or prove to yourself that you can do more and be more every day?
I know a lot of my clients get cringey when I ask that question. Because it’s like, “Well, I would just lay in bed for four days straight and I’d never do anything useful again.” Maybe four days straight in bed is what you need. But I’d bet you’ll find yourself naturally doing things again, productive things, even if that’s not your focus.
We’re naturally curious creatures, we seek out things that feel interesting, maybe even a bit challenging.
Uncoupled from the relentless drive to overperform, that’s good. It can be fun. Dare I even say, playful? So my question to you this month is, what’s in alignment with your Spirit? If you’ve already given yourself the gift of space, might you give yourself the gift of curiosity, too?
I want to be really clear: this is not about getting rid of everything that’s gone before, and living a life that’s always clutter-free, care-free, and perfectly playful. You may want to hang onto some of those old “boxes,” behaviors, stories. That’s completely fine. There might be a few things lurking for a while. That’s completely fine, too. It’s not about never refilling your life. It’s about leaving the space open long enough so you can figure out what you really want to fill it with.
Try This:
In the interest of keeping space open long enough, what do you notice about the idea of “long enough”? It might SEEM like if you entertained the thought it would be four days in bed. But if you have created a little space, begin to notice what the signals are for “enough”. Maybe even restrict the space a bit to see what “not enough” feels like.
Two minutes might feel like too much space if settling is really not within your window of tolerance right now. So can space and freedom to do what you want feel more restful if you’re doing something that’s nourishing to you and it’s contained? An example from me: I can be overly fixated on finishing, especially when life around me feels pressured, which can often ruin a restful few minutes of attention to my garden. But noticing i would LIKE to tend to the garden and a promise to myself that I’m just going to dead the zinnias and STOP. FOR REAL. Not do the entire bed, keeping that promise, putting the spent blooms in the bin and the tools in their basket without finishing is spacious and freeing.
This is big work — and as always, I’m here to support you in whatever way you need. Find out more about how we can work together here.
