What Does Enoughness Feel Like?
I’ve been thinking about enoughness a lot lately (you may have noticed.) Whether you’re thinking about it from the perspective of what you long for, or your ability to receive, or all the areas in which you feel like you don’t have enough, this sense of enoughness (or lack thereof) informs so much of how we view our days.
But, all that being said ... what does enoughness even feel like?
We often think about what it feels like to not have enough. Maybe you want more time, more peace, more connection, more ease in your body. And, that’s great, you get to want whatever you want. But, it’s also important to notice how we’re taught by our overculture to act like there’s never enough, and “enoughness” becomes just another commodity for us to try to stockpile.
That’s why there’s value in actively cultivating an awareness of the spaces and ways in which you do feel like you have enough. It’s easy to notice the loud things – oh, my back is hurting, or I wish I had a friend who would listen to me talk about XYZ – when the rest of us is actually feeling pretty good. While we’re taught to devalue the small moments of quiet contentedness, they’re actually a necessary buffer against our brains’ natural tendency for drama. What we’re often accustomed to thinking of as enoughness is actually overkill, excess, striving past our limits.
By reminding yourself what’s OK, even in the hard times, you can train yourself to have a more complete and true view of how things currently are for you.
That’s not in any way to diminish the things that are hard, or for that matter, the things that are great! It’s simply an invitation to bring the mundane into your awareness, and to value the everyday OK-ness, in service of balance that can support you and keep you more grounded in the midst of loud things, the busy-ness, the stress. Everyday OK-ness is so much more accessible in any moment. It can be small. (In fact, I highly encourage you to go small.)
If you’re open to it, it can even be a doorway into awe.
Even when things are bad, you can still marvel at just how many shades of red your tomatoes are becoming. Even when things are busy, you can still wonder at the mechanics of, say, your eye. And, when you play and practice at giving at least a little bit of attention to the things that are enough, things can start feeling different faster than you might think.
Try This:
See if you can get a sense of what is enough in your body right now. Some things might not be all that great, but how about your big toe? Does it feel OK? What about your eyelashes, do they feel OK? What does it feel like in your body to notice these things?
If the body isn’t the place for you to do this right now, that’s fine too. Think about something that feels like contentment and calm. The aroma of your coffee in the morning, the sound of the breeze in the trees, a conversation you had with a friend, a smile from a stranger.
If you want to stretch it a bit further, ask yourself, what would happen if you looked for three things that are OK today? What might happen? If you want to, you could do a little visual reminder for yourself, like putting a dot on your hand. Whenever you look at the dot, you pause for just a second, and think about something that’s OK.
This kind of work can feel small, and subtle. But that’s so often what we need, especially if we’re already feeling stressed, disconnected, over-busy, and lacking enoughness.
Doing this work with a partner can also make a huge difference. Sometimes, being able to have someone else text you a couple of times a day to ask you what’s OK feels different than doing it yourself. Or, having someone to listen on days when nothing seems OK, and then help you find that enoughness, can make all the difference. If that sounds like it would support you, I’d love to be there for you. Find out more about how we can work together here.